Thursday, December 16, 2010

"I Will Waste My Life"...Katie Style :)

Tonight, I’m giving a mini-testimony. I’m just encouraging all of you when people try to bring you down, or just don’t understand you. :) 

I encourage you to listen to “I will waste my life” by the fabulous Misty Edwards while reading this. 

So lately, I’ve dealt with a truck load of attack from the dumb-dumb downstairs…Satan. Lol. Ever since I decided to apply for the Ramp’s school of ministry, all I hear people talk about is college. Literally 15 times in 2 days I had people ask me why I wasn’t going to a “real college” and said that it was scary and weird that I wanted to move to a state I’ve never been to. It didn’t bother me that people didn’t approve of my choice, but it just got annoying after awhile. Satan tried to make me doubt God’s plans, but I’m not that stupid, so I just ignored him. (Don’t get me wrong though— I’m fully excited for all my friends that are going to college. I am in no way jealous or bitter towards the people who are going to college…let me explain…lol)

I had my life planned out from A-Z…where I would go to college, what I’d study in, where I’d live, where I’d work after college, what I’d name my 5 kids, etc. Slowly, my college choices took my further and further away from home… but then all of the sudden God was like, “Nope, you’re going to the Ramp”. At first, I was honestly mad. I always wanted to go to a top college and get a degree, then get a high paying job and live happily ever after. I had never even been to the Ramp…or Alabama…or anywhere near this place, yet now I was being called to move there and sacrifice my dream? Needless to say, these thoughts ended 5 minutes later when God said, “You’re mine, remember? I would never let anything bad happen to you”. 

Living a consecrated life doesn’t come without price. I never wanted to leave my family. I’ve always thought they’d starve if I wasn’t here to cook or would get put on a TV show for the messiest house if I weren’t here to clean… But one day God & I were talking and I asked why I wasn’t getting an answer about college (after praying for direction for over 5 years). God told me that I had something blocking my view from the answer. I wasn’t willing at the time to leave my family, and that hindered me from hearing from God. He was answering, but I wasn’t listening because at the time I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving my family. 

[[Side note: Now see, God already told me what I was supposed to do a long time ago…like eight years ago. I’ve known that I’m supposed to go into ministry, but I’ve always thrown it on the back burner. Funny thing was that I wasn’t even saved when I knew this. So I didn’t tell anyone (until now) and just went about my merry way. Over time, I let my plans pile on top of it and hide it, and then God uncovered it once I gave EVERYTHING else up. Weird how that works, huh? ]]

Isn’t this how we are so often in life? We say “God, all I have is yours!” but then we don’t give up one thing, and He goes “That’s mine, too”. We’ve given up everything, so we hold onto that last string that tied us to the world with everything we have. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but it took a lot of pain and unnecessary events for me to realize I love God more. 

Family is often the last thing we think of when it comes time to sacrifice stuff. We think of “stuff” like TV, movies, music, books, and even friends. But in all honesty, even Christian parents can hinder your walk with God. It’s their every right to protect you, but not control you. When the time comes for you to step out on your own, and God calls you to do something, DO IT. Don’t you dare let anyone, no matter who they are, lead you astray. Delayed obedience is still disobedience…don’t say God wants me to do missions, but then go to college first to please your parents. That’s what I was going to do –get my BA in nursing, then travel the world and help people. God said, “Now’s the time”. So I said “Ok!”

Is your love for God greater than anything else? Are you willing to sacrifice all you have known in order to know Him? Is there really a cost when you’re doing it out of love? I don’t think so. I’ve gained so much since I’ve sacrificed my life. I’m not boasting, I’m simply encouraging you to give up everything you have to serve Him. And to not be scared to serve Him. Don’t doubt who you are. Know who you are. You are a child of God, just like Damon Thompson or Billy Graham or Perry Stone or Ron Phillips. Don’t be afraid of your calling, but embrace it and proclaim it. Don’t let anyone influence your decision to follow God, and stand strong :)


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